When I Said,

"I Get It" —

I Really Do Get It.

I've been where you are.

I found myself asking my husband if he wanted a divorce, as we sat across from each other in a Village Inn.

My husband, at the time, traveled frequently for business, often gone for weeks at a time, sometimes with only a couple of days between trips. This left little time for us to reconnect. Though we made efforts to prioritize family time, we fell short on spending time together as a couple.

I had been feeling some disconnect and distance in our relationship for quite some time, and it seemed we were both experiencing a period of our own personal funk as well.  I chalked it up to his busy travel schedule and what I assumed might be typical midlife crisis stuff.

So I approached him one night suggesting should prioritize more time into nurturing our relationship, and we agreed to meet for lunch the following day to talk.

I felt an uneasiness and struggled to sleep that night, and I noticed he did too, which made me wonder if he had more on his mind and if there was more to the situation than I had originally thought. My mind had gone there — maybe he wanted a divorce.

At lunch the next day, before our order even arrived at the table, I asked him directly.

As you can guess, our conversation took an unexpected turn. His answer was shocking. But what was even more shocking, was the fact that he had been wanting out of our marriage for three years!

That was when my world shattered.

I was 54 at the time. The news left me feeling betrayed and hurt, lost in a fog of shock, numbness, and disbelief for weeks.

Despite going through the motions of my daily routine, I felt like a walking, talking, zombie. I was putting on a facade of normalcy, especially for the sake of my children, until we felt it was time to break the news to them.

As the initial shock began to wear off, I found myself overwhelmed by all the unknowns and uncertainty looming ahead. Imagining my life outside of what I'd known for the past 24 years as a dedicated stay-at-home mom, supporting my husband's career as the sole provider, was hard to fathom.

I lacked knowledge in areas like car maintenance, home repairs, and financial management beyond the basics. And even though I had a Bachelor's Degree, I hadn't worked in that area for all those years. My work experience had been limited to a part-time role as an educational assistant at my children's school, as a fun way to earn a few extra bucks and see my children at school every day.

I had to find a way to navigate my broken world and create a fulfilling life for myself, one that would bring happiness and help other women facing similar struggles.

Seeking support and guidance, I found a coaching certification program that resonated with me, aligning with my desire to assist others experiencing the same pain and fear. My first step in overcoming my fear was to invest in that coaching certification program even though it was a huge financial commitment I would never have considered. I knew it was a necessary step to find myself, my vision, and my path, so I made that leap of faith.

The journey of navigating divorce while pursuing my coaching certification proved to be empowering. It armed me with the tools to confront my fears head-on and tap into strength that had lain dormant for years.

I learned to recognize the power of my thoughts in shaping my feelings and actions, realizing I didn't have to succumb to the bleak narrative dictated by old thought patterns.

Instead, I could choose to view challenges differently, face them head-on, and embrace my resourcefulness, seeing the unknown as an opportunity for growth and resilience. Inspired by my journey, I felt compelled to share it and help other women facing similar challenges.